


Finding the Line

by bossofchaos700



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, implied that Virgil's dad is Thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22655875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bossofchaos700/pseuds/bossofchaos700
Summary: Dee has been roommates with his best friend, Virgil for a year. Dee knows Virgil's mental health issues are getting worse, but he tries to hold on as his friend. It all comes to a horrible breaking point one Sunday morning at 4 am.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys - this is in no way meant to demonize mental health issues. This fic is based on something that actually happened to me and taught me a very important lesson.

Declan couldn't tell you when it started to go downhill. He'd been living with his best friend, Virgil, for a year now. Their other friends all lived together, so it seemed like a great idea. So what went wrong with his living situation? 

It started out wonderfully. They had opposite hours, which worked for them. Virgil was taking a break from college and worked at the local grocery store. Dee was finishing his senior year of college. They'd come home and have fun laughing into the night. 

Somewhere along the way, the laughter became inconsistent. Dee knew that Virgil had mental health issues, as he was always up front about it. He had bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and other things. He took medication, but Dee always assumed he stayed on top of it. He was a friend, not a parent. Living with Virgil, Dee definitely saw the episodes much more. Up and down through hypomania and depression. Dee wasn't bothered by it, and Virgil would make his way back to normal at some point. 

Dee had his share of issues as well, and Virgil was just as supportive. Dee struggled with PTSD from an abusive childhood. He didn't like to talk about it, but his closest friends were aware of it. He also had a habit of restricting his eating, but since that worried Virgil, he tried not to. 

It became one or the other with Virgil. Laughing on the floor at 2 am at nothing in particular, or Dee saying the wrong thing without realizing it, sending Virgil into an angry, emotional storm into his room. Dee would hear thumps, like objects being thrown from inside Virgil's room, and it made him feel unsettled. 

It became about comforting Virgil at all times, and Virgil stopped asking how Dee was entirely. Virgil began relying on Dee as his only support person, which made Dee nervous as he would always say something wrong. He would return home, feeling like he was walking on eggshells. 

He didn't tell their other friends, though. Virgil was his best friend, and the few good days almost made it worth it. He had to support him, right? And Virgil was definitely trying to get better...wasn't he? 

Everything came crashing down on a Sunday morning at 4 AM. Dee was asleep with his door closed when it was suddenly loudly kicked open, startling him awake. He heard Virgil yelling at him and instinctively covered his head, triggered and terrified. He didn't catch any of the first few words. 

He did hear Virgil shout, "Oh, I'm sorry, am I TRIGGERING you?!? You're not the only one with a problem!" 

Dee heard stomping, and then the front door slam. He remained frozen for an hour, afraid Virgil would come back, even though he knew he had a shift. He didn't want to be here when he came back. He bolted out of bed, packed an overnight bag, and fled the apartment in his car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee turns to his other friends, who help him figure out what's going on with Virgil and how to proceed.

Logan is surprised to open the door to a shaking, panicky Dee on his doorstep. He pulls him inside, saying, "Dee, it's not even 6 am, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" 

Dee can't get any words out without hyperventilating and sputtering. Logan sits him on the couch as his noises bring out a concerned Patton and Roman from their rooms, wondering what's going on. 

Logan says, "Breathe, Dee, you're safe here." 

Patton sits on the couch and rubs Dee's shoulder as he tries to breathe. Finally, he tells them what happened that morning. 

They all look alarmed when he finishes. Roman exclaims, "He SAID that to you?!" 

Patton nods. "That's not okay, no matter what he's going through. I'm so sorry, Dee." 

Logan nods. "That's awful, I agree. This is a little unusual for him, though. I do think someone should talk to him. Dee, what do you want to do?" 

Dee shakes his head. "I can't go back there. I need him out. He has family in this city, I don't. Mine is across the country." 

Logan nods. "Okay. Here's what I'm thinking. We'll talk to Remy and Remus and see if you can sleep there, since they have more room. But I do think two of us should talk to Virgil and see what's going on. I don't mean you, Dee." 

"I'll call my brother," Roman says, getting up and going to fetch his phone. 

Logan nods. "Alright. Dee, are you okay with us relaying this message?" 

Dee nods, still shaking. "Just get him out. I know his parents, they're super nice. They'll take him back in if he really needs it."

Patton says, "I think you and I should talk to Virgil, Logan. Roman can take Dee over." 

Roman came back in. "Remus is asleep but Remy woke up when I called him enough times. He's on board. Dee can go there as long as he needs." 

"Great," Logan said. "Patton, let's go back to Dee's and wait for Virgil. Roman, I want you to drive Dee's car over to Remy and Remus. Dee, if you need anything else, text me and we'll pack it for you." 

Dee nodded, and soon they were in separate cars. As Roman drove, Dee silently cried in the passenger seat, nearly bursting from anxiety. He felt physically ill from the events that morning. He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd let Virgil down when all he needed was support. He was the worst friend ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Virgil seems absolutely awful right now, but there's a couple of more chapters coming!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Dee gets settled with Remy and Remus, Logan and Patton confront Virgil and find out what's going on.

When Roman and Dee arrived, Dee was immediately greeted with a hug from Remy when he opened the door. 

"Dee, honey, I'm so sorry," Remy said. "Virgil should never talk to you that way. Are you okay?" 

Remy pulled Dee inside while Roman followed him, carrying Dee's backpack for him. Dee saw a very tired Remus on the couch, chugging coffee. Remus' hair was going every which way, like he'd crawled out of bed. 

"I don't know," Dee said. 

Remus got up, yawning as he put arms around him and Remy. "You can stay here as long as you need to, you hear? And listen, I will kick Virgil's ass for doing this. I will rip out his..." 

Remy waved the air, making a face. "Bitch, your breath, go swallow a tube of toothpaste before you do all that. Anyway, Dee, let me show you where you'll be sleeping." 

.............

Across town, Logan and Patton were in the apartment that Virgil and Dee shared. Virgil wasn't there. 

Logan said, "Okay, Patton, I want to find his medication and see if he's taking it. We'll ask him of course, but I want to see if he lies." 

Patton looked worried. "Logan, isn't that an invasion of privacy to go through his things?"

"Yes, but he's never yelled at Dee like that. He knows that would trigger Dee. Hell, it would upset anyone, and he did it anyway. I think it's necessary to get all the information that's going into this," Logan said. 

Patton nodded, and they split up. Patton looked through the bathroom as Logan looked in Virgil's room. Logan found pill bottles in the nightstand and called Patton, walking over to the bathroom with them. 

"Here's all three of them," Logan said. "It's a little over the middle of the month." 

Patton picked up a bottle and read the details, and then his eyes went wide. "Uh, Logan? What date does yours say?" 

Logan picked up the other two and realized the bottles had dates from months ago, with pills still inside. 

Patton looked worried as he asked, "Did he stop taking everything months ago? Did he stop his medication again? He knows he's not supposed to do that!" 

Logan said, "We'll ask him, but it looks that way. I didn't find any other bottles." 

Patton asked, "Do you think he's self-harming again?" 

Logan shook his head. "I don't know." 

........

Virgil came home just after 9 am, storming into the apartment and slamming the door. He was still jittery, having way too much energy. He hadn't slept properly in days, and it showed under his eyes. He was confused when Logan and Patton came out of one of the bedrooms. 

"What are you doing here? Dee's car isn't here," Virgil said, fidgeting. 

"He's not here," Logan said. "We need to talk." 

"Virgil, your shift isn't over for a few hours, why are you home so early?" Patton asked. 

Virgil looked at the floor, crossing his arms. "I didn't go." 

Logan asked, "Did you take a sick day?" 

"No, I just blew it off," Virgil said. "I went out driving on the freeway. They tried calling me, I didn't answer." 

Logan and Patton looked at each other before Logan said, "Dee came to see us this morning." 

Virgil's head snapped up and he immediately looked angry. "What, did he tell you how horrible of a person I am? Tell him I'm fucking sorry that I'm a failure and a mess." 

Logan said, "He did tell us what happened. We're concerned, Virgil, because this is unlike you." 

Patton asked, "Have you been taking your meds?" 

Virgil glared at them as he growled, "Yes." Fingers drumming on his arms, why can't he sit still? 

Logan said, "Go get them." 

Virgil asked, "Why? You think I'm lying?" 

Logan said, "Frankly, yes." 

Virgil looked at the ceiling in frustration as Logan brought out the old pill bottles from his pockets. 

"Okay, fine! I stopped months ago, what does it matter?" Virgil said, raising his voice. 

Logan said, "Does your psychiatrist or psychologist know you stopped?" 

Virgil growled, "I stopped seeing them too." 

Patton looked worried as Logan sighed. Logan said, "Virgil, the message I'm relaying to Dee is that you have to move out." 

Virgil wanted to throw something. He shouted, "WHAT!? You can't be serious! I'll have to live with my parents again!" 

Logan nodded. "Frankly, I think that might help you right now. Where's your phone?" 

Virgil pulled it out of his pocket angrily.

"You're going to call your parents and explain the situation, with us here," Logan said. "I want to make sure you do it." 

Virgil shouted, "Logan!" 

Logan shook his head. "Virgil, you're not getting out of this. You need help. Call your parents, right now." 

Virgil sat on the floor with Logan and Patton behind him, angrily calling his dad on FaceTime. His dad answered, clearly in his office at work. 

"Hi Dad," Virgil said angrily. 

"Hey, Virgil," his dad said with a smile, getting up and closing a door. "Hi Logan, Patton. What's up?"

"I'm being kicked out," Virgil said, drumming his fingers in his knee. 

His dad looked concerned as Logan said, "Mr. Sanders, we're very concerned about Virgil's mental health. Dee came to us before 6 am this morning completely shaken because Virgil had woken him up by yelling at him and kicking open his door. Virgil, can you tell him the rest please?" 

Virgil's dad looked worried as Virgil said, "I stopped seeing my therapist and psychiatrist months ago and stopped my meds months ago too. I blew off work today. And...I'm cutting again." 

Virgil's dad sighed, rubbing his face. "Oh, Virgil. Okay. We'll figure this out, okay? We'll help you get back on track. But you do need to come back home for a while, okay? Where's Dee right now?" 

"With friends, he's okay there as long as he needs," Patton said. He didn't want to tell Virgil where exactly. He felt his heart ache when Virgil confessed to self-harming again. He wanted to hug him, but he knew Virgil didn't like hugs. 

Mr. Sanders continued. "Okay. Dee will probably need to stay there for a few days while we move everything out. I'll let the family know, get everyone to help out. Can you guys start getting things together to pack? I'm going to leave work right now and pick up some boxes. Virgil, it's going to be okay. I'll text you when I'm on my way, okay?" 

The call ended. Virgil felt like everything was crashing down around him. Another person had given up on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this was a long chapter. Now we know what's going on with Virgil. For the situation I based this on, I was in Dee's position and wasn't actually here for the "Virgil" conversation. Hope it made sense! More chapters coming.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's dad arrives, and Dee struggles with guilt over how the situation went down.

Logan, Patton, and Virgil had made a little bit of progress on grouping items together on the floor to be packed when Mr. Sanders arrived. Mr. Sanders came in carrying boxes and packaging tape. 

"There's more in the car," he said, putting them down as the young men came out of Virgil's room. Mr. Sanders smiled gently upon seeing Virgil and how exhausted he looked. He ruffled Virgil's hair and said, "You're not sleeping much, are you?" 

Virgil shook his head, fidgeting with his hands. He still felt very jittery. Mr. Sanders nodded. "We'll talk tonight. I see you guys have gotten a good start on getting things ready to be packed." 

Logan nodded. "Yes, but we need to run over to Dee and take him over some things." 

Mr. Sanders nodded. "Go, go. Some of my team volunteered to help move tomorrow, and Joan is coming over to help later tonight. I think we might be able to get this done pretty quick. I am going to crash here tonight on the couch so we can get an early start." 

Patton nodded, picking up the bag of Dee's things. "Okay. Text us if you need help tomorrow, we'll see if anyone has time. Last week of school, you know." 

Mr. Sanders nodded, following them out. With Virgil out of earshot, he whispered, "Hey, thanks for calling me. I'm glad he has friends like you who truly care about him. I'm so sorry for what happened. Please give Dee a hug for me, okay?" 

..........

Dee had barely been able to eat anything when Logan and Patton returned with another bag of stuff for him. "So what did you find out?" Remy asked. 

"He stopped his meds months ago, as well as seeing his psychiatrist and psychologist," Logan said. "And he's self-harming again. His dad is there now." 

Roman and Remus looked at each other with the same surprised, worried expression while Remy watched Dee, who looked even more anxious than he already was. "Did you know?" Remy asked. 

Dee shook his head. "I'm such an idiot," he said. 

"Dee, no," Patton said, sitting next to him on the couch. "He tried lying to us about it too. You're his friend, not a parent or a doctor. You had no reason to make sure he was keeping up with it." 

Logan nodded. "Yes, of course you took him at his word. He only confessed to it when I proved I knew he hasn't been taking his meds." 

Dee shook his head. "He's going to hate me for kicking him out like this. I'm his best friend. If you could even call us that anymore. I don't know if that's true anymore." 

"He kind of did it to himself though, didn't he?" Roman asked. "I mean, you've been trying to be there for him. He hasn't been doing his part, which is see his doctors and take his meds." 

"And honestly, it doesn't sound like he's been a great friend to you," Remy said. "Not based on what you've said to us today." 

"Right," Logan said. "We're not saying he deserves to suffer, of course, Dee, but he has to learn the consequences of his behavior. These are the consequences." 

Patton nodded. Dee felt Remus' arms around him and clutched his hand. Dee said, "I don't want you guys to stop being friends with him because of this. You know he isolates when he thinks he fucked up."

Patton shook his head. "We wouldn't do that, Dee, of course not. But thanks for reminding us that he tends to isolate. We'll make sure to poke at him." 

"Are you going to be friends again?" Roman asked. 

Dee pondered this. "I love the good times with him, and I miss them so much. But there's so much pain and anxiety now because of him, and not just from the past 24 hours. I wish the best for him, I do, but I think there's too much pain for me to go back." 

Everyone nodded. "That makes sense. We'll respect your decision, one way or the other," Logan said. 

Remus frowned, not liking how Dee was so sad and anxious. "Can I make you cupcakes? I can put butts on them." 

Dee smiled weakly as he nodded. "Sure. But please get someone to help you so they taste good." 

As Logan and Remus went to the kitchen, Dee wondered how long it would take for Virgil to get back on track. The echoes of Virgil's shouts at 4 am played in the back of his mind. Virgil used to be such a great friend to him, and that bond meant a lot to him at one point. It all seemed like it had been ripped away now, and the hole it left in him ached horribly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee finishes up with school for the semester while Virgil moves out.

After what felt like years but was only a day, it was Monday. Dee carpooled with Remy and Remus to university to take his last exam at 9 am. He was confident he knew the material, but the events of this weekend had wrecked him. Remy was done with his exams and was working a shift at the coffee shop on campus. Remus also had an exam, along with Patton, Logan, and Roman. 

When they got to campus, Dee's exam started in 20 minutes. He was nauseous from stress and guzzling coffee to stay alert. He hadn't slept the night before, and he'd had an anxiety attack when he saw the clock hit 4 am. Remy put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Sis, you've got this, I know you know this class like the back of your hand. Even though it's just an elective. You can do this, okay? We're all on campus, you know where to find me when you're done. Remember, we all said we'd meet at the cafe when we're done." 

Remus nodded, smiling as he brought out a bag from his backpack. "I sneaked this out of the house for you!" 

He gave the bag to Dee. One of the cupcakes with a frosting butt was in it. Dee couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, I did forget breakfast. Thanks. I'm gonna head upstairs and study before the exam." 

........

Meanwhile, Virgil, his father, and a few of his father's friends had already begun moving things into cars to move. Virgil came out of the apartment to find his dad. He'd still barely slept and had dark circles under his eyes. Yet he was still jittery and couldn't stop moving. His thoughts were racing. 

"I just got off the phone with my manager," Virgil said to his dad. "He fired me for not showing up yesterday. He said it's happened too many times, and that he's sorry, he likes me but he's gotta let me go because I'm unreliable. That's fucking great." 

His dad gave him a sympathetic face and Virgil let him hug him. "Oh, Virgil, I'm sorry. I know everything seems awful right now, but trust me, it'll get better, okay? We just gotta give it time. We already discussed the plan last night, making appointments, that's the start. We can find another job closer to our house if you want." 

Virgil nodded. He watched everyone moving boxes and discussing amongst themselves. Fidgeting, fidgeting, fidgeting. He said, "I'm inconveniencing everyone. Look at you, you're supposed to be at work." 

"Hey, it's okay, we all need help with things, moving is hard," Thomas said. "Remember when you moved in here? They helped out then too. Virgil, these guys care about you just as much as they do me. They're great people, they truly don't mind. And it's not at all inconvenient to take a few days off for me. There's people at the office still, and I can edit from home, you know. Also, I said I'd throw a pizza party for anyone who helped out." 

Virgil nodded, feeling a little better. But out of each time that his mental illness had caused him to lose a friend, this was by far the worst. The sour feeling in his stomach wouldn't go away. 

...........

After his exam, Dee stopped by the student affairs office. "Hi, I applied for a student job here and I wanted to check on the status," he said. 

"Oh, sure, let me go get Diane," the woman said, getting up and walking to another cubicle. 

The woman that Dee had interviewed with over 2 weeks ago came over to him, smiling. "Declan, hello, it's good to see you again," she said. "I was going to call you later this week, but now that you're here, I'll just tell you in person. You got the position. Come with me and I'll give you the details." 

Dee smiled and thanked her as he followed her. Afterwards, he happily made a beeline to the cafe, where he found Logan and Roman at a table, with Remy working. 

"I got the job at the student affairs office!" Dee said. 

"That's great!" Roman said. 

"Awesome, now both of us will be here in the summer," Remy said. "And Logan, when he's tutoring or working in the computer lab. Roman, you should get a job." 

Roman laughed, shaking his head. "I prefer working from home on youtube, thanks. So does Remus." 

Logan, Dee and Remy exchanged amused glances before Logan said, "Uh, Remus is a tutor for a beginner psychology class. He's quite knowledgeable in that class." 

Roman's mouth dropped open. "What?! Why didn't I know this? Why haven't I been recommended as a tutor?" 

"You've never made a grade higher than a B-," Logan said, earning a snack on the arm from Roman.

Remy said, "I'm starving, can we all go get food after this?" 

Roman nodded, saying, "I don't mean to dampen the mood, but has anyone heard from Virgil?" 

Logan shook his head. "He's probably isolating, like Dee said. And he's moving today, he's probably busy. Patton said he'll text him a message just to remind him that we're here when he's ready." 

Roman nodded. "Okay. How long do you think it's going to take him?" 

Dee shook his head. "The last time I saw him have a major fight that lost him a friend, he never talked to them again because he got too anxious to say anything after how it ended. You might have to wait until he's moved out and then go to his dad's house. He might never take the first step." 

.........

Virgil stared at the text message Patton sent him later that day. It read, "Hey, Virge! Hope your day is going well, just want to say we miss talking to you and that we love you and care about you ❤️. We're here for you when you're ready." 

He wanted to respond, but after thinking about everything that had happened, he didn't know what to say or feel like he could say anything. He shoved his phone in his pocket, choosing not to respond. There wasn't any point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still more coming!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finally visits Virgil because he's been avoiding them.

On Tuesday night, Dee received a text message from an unknown number. It was Mr. Sanders. "Hey, Dee, it's Mr. Sanders. Just letting you know that we'll be out of here tomorrow morning. Just doing some cleaning tonight to make sure this place is all ready for you when you get back. I'm so sorry for all the trouble. I hope you're okay. Please reach out to me if you ever need anything." 

Dee felt a little relief knowing that Virgil would be out. After telling the rest of his friends, Patton asked, "Are you going to keep living there?" 

Dee shrugged. "For now. I don't know. Maybe this summer I'll look for a one bedroom closer to you guys." 

A week passed with no word from Virgil. The semester ended. 

"I see that he's elected to ignore all of our text messages," Logan said, looking at his phone. 

"Can we just stop by?" Roman asked. 

"Let me ask his dad if that's okay," Logan said. 

On a Monday evening, everyone except Dee went over to the Sanders residence. Mr. Sanders knew they were coming, but Virgil didn't. His father greeted them at the door with a smile. 

"Hey, guys, come in," he said. "I'm glad you're all here. He's in the living room, through there." 

Virgil was curled up on the couch watching TV. His eyes went wide when he saw his friends come into the room. He said, "What are you guys doing here?" 

Patton sat next to him, smiling gently. "You wouldn't talk to us, and we miss you! We wanted to come see you." 

Everyone nodded, taking seats around the room. Virgil noted that Dee wasn't there. 

"How have you been?" Logan asked. 

Virgil shrugged, fidgeting nervously. "I saw my psychiatrist this week, he started me back on my meds. But I have to start at low doses again and the side effects suck. I'm really tired all the time. I see my therapist in a couple days. I got fired so I'm not working right now, but my dad says I can help out with his work and learn some video production stuff. So I might do that until I can really work again. I think it'll be fun." 

"I think that's a good fit for you," Logan said. 

"We could do a youtube channel together!" Roman exclaimed. "It would be fantastic!" 

Virgil nodded, smiling a little. Patton said, "We all wanted to remind you that we still love you and care about you, okay, Virgil? Please don't shut us out. Talk to us. It's okay that you're struggling, but we want to be here for you." 

Virgil nodded. "I thought you would all hate me," he said. 

"Can I tell you something, babes?" Remy said. "I've spent a lot of time with Dee the past few days, and he's said a lot about you. But he's never once used the word hate. Not even he hates you." 

Virgil looked up at him in shock as Logan said, "I agree. I genuinely don't think he hates you. I would say he's hurt more than anything else. The way he talks about you as a person is with such care, though. He's memorized all these little things about your behavior, and he told them to us to help us connect with you right now. He's hurt, but he doesn't hate you." 

Virgil nodded as his father came in the room. "Virgil, you know I haven't cooked dinner yet. This is why. I ordered pizza for all of you guys and it's here!" 

As everyone got up to get pizza, Virgil still felt like his friends should hate him. But they were here, telling him to hang on. He'd have to try. 

...........

It was months later before Dee heard from Virgil again. It was the end of September, and he'd moved to a one bedroom apartment close to the rest of his friends. The change of scenery helped immensely. 4 am still made him nervous, but it was improving. 

Roman came to him one day with an envelope. "It's from Virgil," Roman said. "I haven't read it." 

Dee instinctively felt a anxious pang in his gut as he took the letter. He opened it and read it quietly. 

"Dee,   
I'm so, so sorry for what happened. What I said, how I treated you, it was fucking awful. I have no excuses. I should have been taking care of myself, and I just wasn't. You were doing everything, trying so hard. You told me about your dad and how horrible he was, and I turned into another version of him. I'm so sorry for that. I don't expect you to forgive me but I needed to apologize. I've taken responsibility for my actions, and I am getting better. Meds, therapists. I hope you are doing good.  
Virgil." 

Dee let Roman read the letter as he processed it. Roman said, "Holy shit, he apologized! Dude, this is so cool." He looked up at Dee, who had an unreadable expression. "What are you thinking, Dee?" 

After a moment, Dee said, "I need to respond. But I don't want to tell him it's okay, because it's not. I can't forgive him, because it fucking hurts. Still." 

Roman nodded. "Okay, then don't forgive him yet. Say something else." 

Dee pondered for another minute before getting out his phone and calling Mr. Sanders. 

"Hey, Dee!" Mr. Sanders said. "How are you?"

"Hi," Dee said. "Good, um...I got a letter from Virgil."

"Yeah, he told me about that. His idea," Mr. Sanders said. "I was proud of him."

"Can you just tell him my response? I just can't handle talking to him yet," Dee said. 

"Sure, what do you want me to tell him?" Mr. Sanders asked. 

Dee took a breath before saying, "Thank you." 

Mr. Sanders said, "Okay, I will tell him that." 

"Okay, thanks, I appreciate it," Dee said. "Is he...is he doing okay?" 

"Yeah, he seems to be feeling better mentally and he really likes helping out at my workplace. He's learning special effects makeup." 

"Good," Dee said. "I always hope that he'll find something that makes him happy." 

"I think he might have," Mr. Sanders said. "Thanks for calling, Dee." 

As Dee hung up, Roman had already sent screenshots of the letter to the rest of their friends. He took the letter and decided to put it away in a drawer. He didn't want to throw it out yet. While it all still ached, the letter had helped a small part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil came through with that apology, huh? Just one more chapter in this work to go, it's almost done!


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee finally talks to Virgil for the first time after the incident.

Their last semester came to a close, and all of them were graduating in a week. Logan had a job set up already of course, and Patton was due to start as a 2nd grade teacher at a local elementary school after the winter break. The rest of them were still looking. 

Dee felt unrest though as graduation came closer. The last semester went very well for him. He'd even won a student leadership award. He got very good grades. He knew the problem wasn't with school, but instead, with Virgil. 

4 am still felt bad to him, but he wasn't having anxiety attacks from it anymore. He didn't hear Virgil shouting at him in his head anymore, but those words would stick with him forever. 

"I don't want it to end like that," he finally said to Remy one day, when he was over at Dee's apartment. 

"What?" 

"With Virgil," Dee said. "I don't want it to end like it did. It feels so negative, so unfinished. There's no closure. I want to talk to him one last time and end it on a positive note." 

Remy looked slightly surprised, but he seemed to understand. "You sure you'll be okay? Do you want me to come with you?" 

"No, I'll be okay. I'll come over when I'm done," Dee said. 

...........

Two days later, Dee found himself on the doorstep of the Sanders residence. He'd called Mr. Sanders to arrange a time. 

Mr. Sanders opened the door and smiled at him. "Hey," he said. "Thanks for coming over. I didn't tell him who was coming over. By the way, congratulations on graduating." 

Dee smiled, thanking him before walking over to the living room. Virgil had his laptop on his lap, sitting on the couch. He saw Dee, and his eyes went wide. He stood up quickly, saying, "Dee? What are you doing here?" 

"I didn't want to leave things so negatively," Dee said. "How are you doing?" 

Virgil nodded. "I'm okay. I'm much more stable now, still taking meds. Still working at my dad's company. I really like special effects makeup and designing merch. I think I may look into that as a career. I'm getting good at the makeup." 

"That's really cool. That definitely sounds like something you'd be good at." 

Virgil nodded. "You guys are graduating this week, right?" 

Dee nodded. "I don't know if there are any more tickets, but they do livestream it on the website. You can probably watch it." 

Virgil nodded. "I'm working that day anyway, but maybe I can catch it. I'll look it up." 

Virgil hesitated before asking, "Do you hate me for what happened?" 

Dee shook his head. "No, I never did. But it hurt, a lot. I don't know if we can be friends again, but I don't want us to be enemies. I want you to be happy." 

Virgil nodded. "I'm sorry for how it turned out. But I'm glad you don't hate me. I thought you did for a while. If you ever need anything, I'm here, okay?" 

"Me too." 

As Dee walked out of the house, he finally felt peace about the situation. The memories he had with Virgil were all either very good or very bad. He both missed him and didn't want anything to do with him. But maybe he would always feel that way. This whole experience had taught him the hard way however when to support friends with mental illness, and when he should step away. He wasn't sure when that point came for Virgil, but hopefully, in the future, he'd be better about putting himself first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! As I said in the beginning, this is based on an experience that actually happened to me. I tried to make it as close as possible to what happened, and I was in Dee's position. I shortened it in this fic, in my experience, it took ten days for the person to move out. Sometimes it takes a horrible experience to teach you to put yourself first.


End file.
